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There were things they, as a couple, had struggled with their entire marriage. And then, when things went wrong, the church was quick to discipline harshly.

This concerns me greatly. This leaves the child confused as to motive. As a child I witnessed this being done by a group of teens, with a group of children and always believed it only happened to us.

To hear it from other was at first shocking. It triggers sexual addictions and cravings that are obsessively unnatural. Some of these individuals, especially males, seem never to be sexually fulfilled.

I have only encountered one admission of turning to prostitution. On the other end of the spectrum it has caused extreme frigidity in many a marriage, for both men and women, destroying what God intended to be a beautiful and natural relationship between husband and wife, because the partner is so wounded and repulsed by sexuality.

It is also wrecking marriages where one partner knows the other instigated or engaged in this activity, and then went on to have same gender partners in their youth, within the culture.

Suddenly, in marriage, that individual whether male of female—and it does happen in both, in the church is supposed to have the same attraction for the opposite gender.

They have, sometimes for years, lived in same gender relationships, experiencing a very different kind of attraction. I now meet with adults who have carried this disturbing secret, in silence, for many, many years.

Some have not even shared it with a spouse, a pastor, a counsellor or a friend. They carry it alone. I have heard numerous stories, either from parents who caught their children in with other children or animals, or men and women who were never caught but hold this darkness inside.

The guilt and the shame that consumes them, as they sit in their pews, neatly dressed, perfectly presenting the Mennonite culture, ought to stir compassion, not judgement.

Endless love and compassion, accompanied by teaching healthy sexuality is the answer. They spanked. And when I ask how hard. I have contemplated this at length, and can only conclude that their own past, their own pain, and their own experiences haunt them.

My advice—and I seldom give advice but tend more to ask questions and help the individual come to the right conclusion—is that an adult should never spank a child for sexual exploring or sexualized behaviour.

I hear stories of sexual confusion that the individual can pin-point to that moment. They did not understand what they were doing. They had not been taught about their sexuality.

And they had, in most cases, been previously abused. Then, when caught with another child, they received a harsh whipping, spanking or even beating.

This is wrong. I remember well the screams of my siblings as they were beaten for, God only knows, what. If a parent or other authority figure, gives that child a safe place to talk, the child will be able to speak to what has been or is being done to them, to spark this sexual behaviour.

My understanding of life, truth and sexuality is faith-based, Bible-based and God-focused. I am made in His image. Made to reflect Him.

Made to represent Him. He spoke words of approval over me. And those words were spoken before sin touched me.

He has invited me, as He invites every individual on earth, to return to that original identity. When I return to that, I immediately must reject the lies that life experience have spoken over me.

Truth is the only thing that has the power to overcome the lies. I appeal to leaders, to parents, to friends, that the conservative churches change the way these things are dealt with.

For so many generations there has been silence. And the only teaching I heard growing up was negative teaching. If you engage in sexual activity you will go to hell.

Sex was predominantly attributed to evil and Satan. But the real truth about sex was never taught. Sex is, and was, first and foremost, a gift from God.

It is, and was, a reflection of Him, of His passionate love for us. He made it pleasurable because it is lovely. It is delightful.

It is bonding. He could have made us a thousand other ways, to take all pleasure out of it. Sex is, and always has been, first and foremost, good.

Very good. It needs to be valued. And when victim-blaming occurred, how did the body politic of Mennonite theology and church leadership fare?

Some of the women who successfully challenged Yoder in the last decades of the twentieth century remained lifelong participants—and leaders—in Mennonite churches and agencies.

During that same period, other women moved on, contributing theological, ministerial, teaching, and administrative abilities in settings beyond Mennonite institutional life.

Since the s, two Yoder-centric narratives have emerged to account for the extensive abuse perpetrated by this prominent Mennonite theologian.

Over a four-year period they suspended his ordination credential, sought psychiatric diagnoses, considered possible restitution for victims, and in announced that his disciplinary process had concluded, recommending resumption of his teaching and writing in Mennonite settings.

Reconciliation between Yoder and many of the individuals harmed by his actions, I argue, never occurred. For several decades, through the s and s, Yoder approached women with sexual invitations and intimidating behavior at the seminary, at academic and church conferences, and in homes, cars, and gathering places across the U.

I wondered, am I special to him? Is he lonely? Yoder justified his sexual approaches to women as theologically driven. Why would a woman say no if sex presumably resulted in no harm?

And who would believe that a woman had withheld consent, given new expectations of participation in the sexual revolution? He had a whole landscape to work in.

Many had grown up in families and religious contexts in which women were expected to set boundaries for sexual behavior.

Although it remains unclear precisely how many women Yoder approached, an estimated one hundred or more experienced sexual violation.

By contrast, some women regarded his aggressiveness as coercive and deeply harmful, and they felt fear long after their encounters with him.

In , Miller and a small group of confidantes at the seminary forced Yoder to resign. Newly accessible archival sources have shed light on the ineffective institutional processes devised in response to reports of misconduct.

For two decades, Mennonite administrators, committees, and task forces responded—mostly informally—to women who sent letters of complaint, phoned, or appeared in person.

No one called in law enforcement, no legal charges were brought, and although several parties consulted attorneys, no lawsuits were filed.

In , a group of eight Mennonite women, led by Martha Smith Good, then campus pastor at Goshen College in Indiana, and Carolyn Holderread Heggen, a mental health professional living in Albuquerque, gathered in Elkhart, Indiana, for an intense weekend.

After first becoming acquainted with each other, the women identified themselves to an Elkhart-based Mennonite task force investigating Yoder, as being among those who had experienced his sexual advances.

These whistleblowers warned the task force about the dangers that Yoder continued to pose to students at the University of Notre Dame and elsewhere.

I am part of an entire generation of feminist women who … changed the way the surrounding culture has understood rape ….

Equipped with this new information and concerned about the potential for scandal, Miller resolved to force Yoder from Goshen Biblical Seminary.

He had surprised her with physical coercion after becoming acquainted with her during a trip to New Mexico and had later sent her a sexually graphic letter and invitations to meet him at upcoming academic conferences.

He knew I never hoped to be ordained nor did I ever intend to be hired by a Mennonite institution—so I had less fear than most…. Further, there was nothing I said or did which could have reasonably been interpreted as intentionally seductive.

Yes, they have all been hurt but we are not to blame. His inappropriate behavior over the years has resulted in this pain for him and his family ….

Frankly, we had no models to emulate. We did the best we knew how with the insight we had at the time.

Some departed their Mennonite churches and communities, an exodus with varied consequences for those who left and those who stayed. As the peace scholar and activist Lisa Schirch argues, during the last several decades of the twentieth century.

The continuing absence of women in so many centers of pacifist theology in Mennonite institutions today means that new generations of pacifist theologians may also not…take into consideration the privilege and entitlements that males enjoy.

From the perspective of many women who remain active in Mennonite settings, as well as others who have affiliated elsewhere, the dismantling of patriarchal structures in Mennonite institutions is long overdue.

It is the kind of abuse that occurs when the reputation and perceived survival of the church seem more important to many of its leaders than justice toward its victims.

This story speaks to the great loss of talented, spiritually inclined women in the last fifty years.

These are women who would have provided real leadership to the Mennonite Church. Heggen also convinced Shenk to seek documentary evidence for a fuller historical accounting.

Ervin Stutzman, executive director of Mennonite Church USA, supported these efforts, committing denominational resources and leadership toward transparency.

These initiatives have resulted in denominational leaders apologizing publicly for historic failures in addressing sexual abuse. How did women challenge Yoder?

In so doing, women dissenters within and beyond Mennonite congregations, institutions, and agencies, sought to bend the body politic toward justice.

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